- Q. Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road?
- A. Because roads weren't invented yet!
- Hahaha. How awesome.
- ~ submitted by NJ10.5
On Tuesday my sister, Grace, went for a walk in the sun when she saw a wizard.
“I’ll turn you into a purple bean if you don’t do what I tell you to do,” the wizard demanded.
“Well, what do you want me to do?” she asked.
“Give me a slimy snail for my cooking.”
Two minutes later, Grace brought him a slimy snail.
“Now what are you going to do?” she queried.
“Aah,” he announced mysteriously. “You’ll see.”
Suddenly, BANG! All was black.
“Ooh, what’s happened?” Grace murmured drowsily, as she sat up and rubbed her head. “Where am I?” she said as her eyes adjusted to the dim light.
“You are where you think you are,” said a weird-looking man in flash clothing. “You are in Marlin’s house, Gracie.”
“Where’s Marlin then?”
“He’s gone out to get some groceries,” he replied.
“Do you know what that loud bang was?” asked Grace curiously.
“It was a bomb dropped from an aeroplane,” came the answer, as the man was shifting rubble.
“Why?” asked Grace.
“They were trying to hit Marlin.”
“Because they don’t like him.”
“But how come they don’t like him?”
“Because they have made a ‘droid of him.”
“What’s a ‘droid,” asked Grace politely.
“It’s an exact double of Marlin but it’s meaner.”
“Ooh,” Grace said, as she dusted off her clothes.
“Here comes Marlin from getting the groceries.”
Grace stood up. “Hello Mr Marlin. How are you? And how’s your slimy snail?”
“Well, thank you,” as he plopped the groceries down on the bench.
Grace’s head turned towards a noise.
“What was that?” Grace jumped.
The Marlin Droid rushed in and shouted “Surrender or die!”
“Who are you?” shouted the real Marlin.
“I am your Droid, created by your enemy, Perpetrator.”
Droid was about to grab Mr Marlin when I popped in to help. Using the surprise factor, I picked up Marlin’s double and chucked him out, sending him on his way.
I told him to not hurt anyone ever again, and, because I’m so wonderful, he didn’t.
I went back to Marlin’s house, the real Marlin, and got Grace. Marlin offered us some Slime Soup, but we declined and left for home. Grace thought is was a bit rough being caught in a bomb blast. But she survived!
THE END ~ NJ10.5
This is such a yummy cake and is a good way to use up all those feijoas you get given!
1/2 c milk
1 1/4 c white sugar
1 c mashed feijoas
1 teaspoon vanilla essence
75 g butter
Place above ingredients in a food processor and mix until smooth.
2 c flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
Pour the processor contents into a bowl with the remaining ingredients and mix well. Pour into a well-greased or baking paper-lined 20-23 cm cake tin.
Bake for 40-45 minutes at 180 degrees C. Ice if desired.
Lemon Butter Icing
2 c icing sugar (powdered)
grated rind and juice of 1 lemon
25 g butter, melted
Mix all ingredients together until smooth. Add extra lemon juice if required to make a fluffy buttery consistency.
- Sugar and Spice, By Jo Seagar
THE NORTHERN LIGHTS
Using the words: SLIMY, PURPLE,
SUN and QUICK(SYNONYM
It was a warm, SUNny Tuesday morning and Doug was sitting on his bed staring at his posters of planets and galaxies on his bedroom wall. Doug wanted to be an astronaut or a meteorologist when he grows up. He knows everything an 11 year old boy could possibly want to know. He knows about all the planets, moons,and the stars and even the sun. He just knows everything.
But he was so bored. All his friends had gone away for the school holidays except the new girl and her family who had recently come to town called Susan. Susan lived over the road from Doug and was a shy girl, she didn’t like it when she spelt her spelling words in front of the whole class last Friday. One thing she likes to do is hunt for bugs. She loves bugs. He sometimes sees her looking under the bush in her front yard for all sorts of bugs. Doug kinda feels sad for Susan because she doesn’t have anyone to play with and probably has no friends anyway. Doug thought about it for a minute “no friends to play with, wow, that would totally suck”, Doug finally said. So he decided to ask to play with her. It would cure his bordom. He RACED out of his room to ask his mum if he could go.
Doug found his mum in the kitchen making some cupcakes with PURPLE icing for his little sister Lucy’s birthday tomorrow.
“Mum”, he shouted, to be heard over the electric beater.
“Yes” his mum said, reaching for the ”off” button on the beater.
“Um.. can i go and play with that new girl, Susan, over the road ‘coz i’m so bored and all my other friends have gone away for the school holidays,” he said in a big hurry.
His mum thought for a moment. “Yes dear, I don’t see why not. Just ask her parents first and don’t be a long time - lunch is ready in 1 hour,” she said in her motherly way.
Doug QUICKLY ran out the door and across the road to Susan’s house. He knocked heartily on the Jones’ front door. He waited. Finally Mr. Jones opened the door.
“Hello Mr. Jones. I’m Doug Stevenson and I live over the road”.
“Could i please play with Susan?” Doug asked hopefully.
Mr. Jones replied, ”Yes you may. I’ll get her she is out in the garden…”
Doug finished the sentence for Mr. Jones “looking for bugs”, Doug said.
Mr. Stevenson looked at Doug and said “You know my daughter very well. I’ll go and get her”.
A few minutes later Susan appeared at the doorway.
“Hi Susan how are you?”, Doug said cheerfully, “I was wondering if I could play with you ‘cos I’m really bored and all my other friends have gone on holiday”.
“Yeah,you can play with me, I suppose. You could help me find bugs if you want”, Susan said shyly.
“Sure”, Doug said happy to find something to do.
Susan led Doug round to the front yard. She showed Doug how to look for bugs. “You have to look for rocks and stuff that looks like it has been there for a long time … or dig in the soil to find worms” Susan said.
“Ok let’s do it”, Doug said excitedly.
They spent ages digging and finding and digging and finding and digging and finding…Ok, i think you get the picture. Doug found 50 SLIMY worms, 3 ladybugs, 9 sticky snails and 24 SLIMY, fat slugs chewing happily on an old rotting log. Time went so fast it always seemed that he was going home to have lunch or dinner!
It was about 8 pm. They were all dirty and gross and starting to pack up all the tools. In 1 hour it will all be dark. The warm summer air wafted around them.
“This is a nice time of year because the air ain’t cool like the rest of the year, it is so warm and nice” Susan said. All of a sudden the sky went pitch black!
“It’s the end of the world and we are all going to die”, Susan exclaimed worringly! While Susan was worrying about dying, Doug knew what was happening. After about 1 minute of complete darkness… there were bright lights - pink, green, blue and PURPLE!
”The Northern Lights”, Susan shouted.
“It is so beautiful!” Doug said in total amazement. He had been waiting for this to happen for five years.